They, them, and theirs are gender-neutral pronouns used to refer to a person without specifying their gender. These pronouns replace traditional gendered pronouns like he/she and his/her with a single set of words.
These pronouns function as subjects (they), objects (them), and possessives (theirs). They can refer to individuals who don't identify within the binary of male or female, or simply when the gender of the subject is unknown or irrelevant.
For example:
They went to the store (subject pronoun)
The teacher talked to them (object pronoun)
This book belongs to theirs (possessive pronoun)
These pronouns can be used in both singular and plural contexts. The singular they has been used in English since the 14th century and is recognized by major style guides like the AP Stylebook and the Chicago Manual of Style.
| Type | Example |
|---|---|
| Singular | Someone left their phone behind. |
| Plural | They brought their own lunches. |
One common mistake is assuming they, them, theirs are always plural. While they can be plural, they are also valid singular pronouns. Another misconception is that using these pronouns is grammatically incorrect, which is false-they are widely accepted in modern English.
According to the American Psychological Association, using singular they helps avoid assumptions about gender. This makes communication more inclusive and respectful.
Imagine you're writing an email to a group of people whose genders you don't know. Instead of saying "he or she," you could write:
If anyone has questions, they can email me directly. I'll make sure to respond to them promptly, and their concerns will be addressed.
This approach ensures your message is inclusive and avoids unnecessary assumptions.
Using these pronouns correctly shows respect for people's identities and promotes inclusivity. It's a small but meaningful way to create a more welcoming environment for everyone.
For instance, if someone tells you their pronouns are they/them, it's important to use those pronouns consistently. Misgendering someone-using the wrong pronouns-can be hurtful and disrespectful.
Language evolves, and so do pronouns. As society becomes more aware of gender diversity, using they, them, theirs helps reflect that understanding. It's a step toward making sure everyone feels seen and respected.
For more on inclusive language, explore how to ask about someone's activities respectfully.